Introduction

Welcome to “Live Better with Robyn,” where we tackle the good, the bad and the downright bizarre aspects of life and relationships. Today, we’re diving headfirst into a topic that has plagued lovers since the dawn of time: jealousy in a relationship. If you’ve ever felt the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head, you’re not alone. Buckle up, buttercup, because we’re about to embark on a journey to banish that beast for good.

1. Recognise the Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy is like an unexpected zit on your nose before a big date – it just pops up out of nowhere but recognising jealousy is the first step to conquering it. Picture this: you’re scrolling through your partner’s Instagram, and suddenly, you’re spiraling into a jealous frenzy over a harmless like. That’s the monster at work. The trick is to catch it early. Acknowledge that pang of insecurity and tell yourself, “Okay, I’m feeling jealous. This is normal, but it’s not the end of the world.”

Pro tip: Keep a jealousy journal (See how you can start this amazing journaling journey here) Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but jotting down your feelings can help you see patterns and triggers. Plus, you’ll have some cringe-worthy material to laugh at later, or not. -_-

2. Communicate, Don’t Let It Pile Up

Instead of letting jealousy fester like a week-old sandwich in the back of the fridge, communicate with your partner. If something’s bothering you, talk about it and by talk, I mean a calm conversation, not an episode of “Real Housewives.”

Imagine this scenario: “Hey, when you liked that photo of your ex’s new cat, I felt a bit insecure. Can we talk about it?” This approach is way better than: “WHY ARE YOU LIKING YOUR EX’S POSTS? DO YOU STILL LOVE THEM?” See the difference?

Pro tip: Use “I” statements to express how you feel without sounding accusatory. It’s all about team effort here, folks. (You can have a look at this blog post on communication with your partner here)

3. Confidence is Your Best Accessory

Jealousy often stems from insecurities. The more confident you feel about yourself and your relationship, the less room there is for jealousy. Think of confidence as your secret weapon – like that perfect little black dress that never fails to make you feel fabulous.

Work on boosting your self-esteem by engaging in activities that make you feel good. Whether it’s hitting the gym, mastering a new hobby, or simply strutting down the street to your favorite jam, do what makes you feel unstoppable.

Pro tip: Positive affirmations can work wonders. Stand in front of the mirror and channel your inner Beyoncé: “I am confident, I am worthy, and I am enough.” (Boost your self-esteem here)

4. Trust is the Foundation

Building trust is crucial to squashing jealousy. Trust is like the glue that holds your relationship together, and without it, everything falls apart. It’s not something that magically appears overnight – it’s earned through consistent actions and honest communication.

Start by being transparent with each other. Share your thoughts, fears and dreams and remember, trust goes both ways. If you expect your partner to trust you, you’ve got to show them they can rely on you too. (Check out my blog post on rebuilding trust here)

Pro tip: Create a “trust jar.” Every time one of you does something that builds trust, drop a coin into the jar. Over time, you’ll see just how much you’ve invested in your relationship.

5. Avoid the Comparison Trap

In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. You see other couples’ highlight reels and start questioning your own relationship. Spoiler alert: everyone’s life looks perfect online. Don’t let curated snapshots mess with your head.

Focus on what makes your relationship unique and special. Celebrate your quirks, your inside jokes and the little moments that make your bond one-of-a-kind.

Pro tip: Have a social media detox day. Spend the time you’d usually spend scrolling by doing something fun with your partner. Real-life adventures > Instagram envy.

6. Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries isn’t about control – it’s about respect. Boundaries help you and your partner understand each other’s comfort zones and expectations. Think of boundaries as the rules of your relationship game.

Discuss what’s acceptable and what’s not. For example, maybe you’re cool with your partner having friends of the opposite sex but daily texting with an ex is a no-go. Clear boundaries prevent misunderstandings and keep the jealousy monster at bay.

Pro tip: Revisit your boundaries regularly. As your relationship evolves, so might your comfort zones. Keep the dialogue open and ongoing.

7. Laugh It Off

Humor is a powerful antidote to jealousy. Sometimes, taking a step back and laughing at the absurdity of your insecurities can be incredibly liberating. Did you just get jealous of a fictional character your partner is crushing on? Yep, that’s hilarious. It happened to me, my husband loves Jessica Alba – She’s beautiful for real… but she don’t have what I got 😉

(Awkward twerk)

Find ways to inject humor into your relationship. Watch a funny movie, share silly memes or even laugh at your own jealous moments. Laughter is a reminder that you’re human and humans are gloriously imperfect.

Pro tip: Create a “Jealousy Jar.” Every time one of you gets jealous over something silly, drop a dollar in the jar. Use the money for a fun date night – turning jealousy into joy.

FAQs

1. Is jealousy normal in a relationship?

Absolutely! Jealousy is a natural emotion that everyone experiences at some point. The key is to manage it healthily and not let it dominate your relationship.

2. How can I tell if my jealousy is becoming unhealthy?

If jealousy leads to constant arguments, mistrust, or controlling behavior, it might be time to seek help from a therapist. Unhealthy jealousy can damage a relationship if not addressed.

3. Can a relationship survive without jealousy?

Yes, a relationship can thrive without jealousy. Building trust, maintaining open communication and fostering mutual respect are essential components of a healthy, jealousy-free relationship.

Conclusion

Jealousy in a relationship is like that annoying fly buzzing around your head – irritating but not unbeatable. By recognising it, communicating openly, boosting your confidence, building trust, avoiding comparisons, setting boundaries and laughing it off, you can keep the green-eyed monster at bay. Remember, relationships are a journey and every bump in the road is an opportunity to grow stronger together. So, grab your partner’s hand, face jealousy head-on, and keep living your best life – jealousy-free.

You can do this!!

Chat soon

Xx